How Soon Is Too Soon?

Answering the modern day question that every girl wants to know… how soon is too soon?

We’ve read the stories, we’ve seen the “novelas” or soap operas, we’ve lived it!!!… but what is prince charming really thinking?

Monday night brought together three curious minds, three females (ages: 24, 26, 26). We dared to dig into the minds of the men in our lives, some friends, some past lovers, and some even current. Asking one simple question:

How soon is too soon for a woman to sleep with you?

40 men participated.

These were their responses:


21, San Diego: haha I don’t know, I think it all matters on the couple and the connection they have. If they have a good connection and really like each other, maybe first date… but, if you don’t know anything about the person maybe wait until you know them well. LOL. I don’t know haha. I don’t judge regardless. 

28, Los Angeles: Before the third date. That’s my rule… Anything sooner and she’s a ho. 

26, Santa Cruz: The first date. The woman needs to flirt and joke with the man to let him know she’s interested. At the end of the night, kisses and feel-skis are acceptable, some hand on bare butt-cheeks, no nipple kissing, and no article of clothing is taken off. Also, the duration of the kisses and the touches is very limited. The longer duration will obviously lead to other things. Second/Third date follows the same as first, but some boundaries are explored. The woman verbalizes she is interested but wants to “take it slow”, this will give time for both parties to get to know each other. If you give it up on the first date, it’s ok… if there’s great connection and passion, get crazy, go with it! Who is to judge? Live in the moment. 

21, San Diego: Is there a too soon? haha jk. It depends on the connection you have with the guy. I think if you have a strong connection, it doesn’t matter how soon LOL. But then again, there are cases where you should take your time. Guys can lose interest if it’s too soon. 

25, Watsonville: Haha. I feel honored to be asked this 🙂 :). Damn, it depends really on the situation… Depending on the connection between two people. I’ve had girls make me wait a month, and others not even two weeks LOL, but I’d wait three weeks unless you just want a f*** buddy, then there is no too soon!

29, Las Vegas: Depends on the situation. If you recently met, how comfortable are you with that person? I slept with my ex the first night we hung out, it didn’t change my opinion about her. 

30, San Diego: In my honest opinion, a girl should set that standard for herself. I don’t have a timeline whether a girl is a “slut” or a “good girl” because she waits an X amount of days before sleeping with someone. I’ve woken up to girls after comparable situations and felt completely different, that being said, I’d probably prefer a bit of a challenge. 

27, San Francisco: If a dude is down with a one night stand….most dudes would say like four hours of knowing her. LMAO! And I can’t front like I haven’t done it. So guilty as charged. LOL. It depends though. Dudes see sex differently based on where they are in life, what they want in girls. Sometimes its just a straight physical “carnal thing” that night, or if a dude really wants to get to know a chick it could take some time. Sex messes shit up and can backfire for real. 

30, Watsonville: If both are looking for a serious relationship and both are serious about each other, I don’t think there is a too soon… But if it’s someone you are trying to get to know through dates, first or second date might be too soon. There has been times that I didn’t go for a kiss on the first date because I really like the girl and I didn’t want to come of pushy and send the message that I just wanted a physical relationship. The times I’ve hooked up on the first date or the day of meeting the person, it has been hard to look at that girl as more that a hook up/bootycall lol. 

26, Los Angeles, Young DEZ: Dudes are weird when it comes to that LoL. On average, word on the block is… less than a month. Well guys in general think less than a month. But if that’s all he wants, a woman can hold off three months, but as soon as he gets it he’s out. One of my boys literally just did that. LOL. 

32, Watsonville: I guess it would have to depend on the circumstances of the friendship/relationship. The relationships I’ve been in I never went by a specific amount of time. I always went by the mutual feeling we had for each other, there is no recipe for love. Each relationship is different, unique, and special in its own way. 

27, San Diego: Girlie, its like… if you’re feeling the dude and you want a one night stand, I don’t see why not get it in, love. But if you want a relationship and you can see it going somewhere maybe make him wait it out, just to see how he really acts without sex. It definitely varies from situation to situation. I feel at our age we are allowed to have an occasional encounter of a one night stand without feeling guilty about it. Not saying that it’s exactly my cup of tea, but at the same time, things happen. Not every moment we have with the opposite sex is going to be planned out, ya know? 

29, Watsonville: Well too soon is probably first date. But I’m not gonna get mad if I sleep with a girl on the first date. 

27, Los Angeles: If you like him and think he’s an honest guy with morals, there shouldn’t be a problem. Have sex when you’re comfortable enough to. Don’t give a f*** of what others judge you by. It’s none of their business.

32, San Diego: It’s never too soon. I have sex same night. Unless all parties involved are religious, then they can’t do anything right. 

30, San Jose: Depends on the dude, I can’t give you all the info if you don’t tell me yours.

24, Orange County: It depends on the context of the woman and the man… your question is too vague.

26, Rio De Janeiro: Uhhh… by the 5th date..ya’ll should be getting it in. I’d be mad by the fifth date if nothing is going on. When I mean dates like seeing each other/twice a week max. Therefore, this is like one month of waiting.

21, San Diego: Whoever it is. let the man hit!

26, Los Angeles: Three dates is good enough. First and second dates may be too soon.

24, San Diego: Honestly, i respect a woman that embraces her sexuality. If she feels comfortable to give it up in the beginning, then thats fine… but, I like the chase of someone making me wait. 

22, San Francisco: Hmmmm, too soon would be after the first date. Lol!

25, Los Angeles: It all depends on the relationship between the girl & the guy.

27, Fullerton: You can go to DT and be taken home that night or if you’re talking relationship stuff then its different as well. It depends on the people. 

28, Watsonville: Nowadays you’re lucky if she waits a week LOL. I believe a guy would take you more serious if you do wait a couple weeks or a month or two before you give it up.

24, Norwalk: Everyone is different… But the basic rule is 3 dates so you can take her serious… (that’s an option) but after three dates that’s more serious… And the three dates can’t be consecutive… So coffee dates don’t count.. Movie dates don’t count… Dates like that… They have to be legit dates. Cause if a guy isn’t trying to get to know you on an intimate personal level… Those are red flags for just wanting the lust…

42, Sherman Oaks: The first date is too soon because of the stigma that goes with it. 

27, Anaheim: The longer the wait the more serious I take them. How well you get to know each other too. Not just about sex but on a more intimate level.

27, San Francisco: The first day lol.

29, New York: If you give me your opinion first I will be honest is that ok? Lol. Oh screw it I’ll just say it lol. It’s not that simple. I wouldn’t judge if we hit it off and it happens early on. Why would I? We’re adults and not doing anything wrong. I guess it depends more on how much we know each other. If it’s like we never spoke and suddenly it’s going down then maybe I might think in the back of my mind does she do that a lot? But same goes for guys right? If they’re a ho do sho haha. Basically if you two are talking and hit it off I don’t think there is some “too soon” red flag.

27, Ventura: It really just depends on the comfortable level that you as a female feel. It could be 4 dates, 7 dates, maybe even 1. It just depends on how comfortable you feel. 

28, San Fernando Valley: Alright… honesty, honesty. As you get older, I feel like it shouldn’t be that much of a problem if you wait maybe a date or two… after that, let’s do it, BUT, as a guy and the way we think… if I can get into a girl’s pants on the first night, I better be in love with that girl, because if not I’m going to think it’s too easy. I would say, a reasonable amount of time… I would say, a good two months, three months you’re pushing it! After three months, I’m going to look for it elsewhere. 

26, Los Angeles: Well for a guy in general I think 2 weeks no more than a month lol. I don’t really judge a girl by that which is what I assume you girls are talking about so guys won’t think you are easy. A girl could sleep with me within a couple of days and I wouldn’t think bad about her. She might of not had sex in months so to judge her so soon isn’t fair. 

26, Los Angeles: There’s no such thing…as too soon. It doesn’t matter to me. 

36, San Francisco: Hahaha, good question, my boys and I always discuss this. So it really depends, if you are really into the girl it doesn’t matter–it’s never too soon but if I’m on the fence and she sleeps with me in less than 3 dates I’d probably lose interest. But you probably wouldn’t know how much a guy likes you for sure so if a girl wants the best chance, wait for the 3rd date…It’s the truth, my friends all agree!! You gotta be real special to pull off sleeping with a guy on the 1st date and him still being crazy about, but you know that :).

28, Sherman Oaks: Haha well honestly I think it depends. If that’s all I’m looking for then it’s never too soon. But if I’m actually interested some time wouldn’t be painful. 

29, Hollywood: Hmm I’m not sure if anytime is too soon 😉 I think the “norm” is 3-5 dates. 

25, Chicago: Well, if I take a girl out for the first time and she is ready to give it up right then and there. That just pretty much turns it into a 1 night stand for me. I don’t want to make it 2 easy for a guy. If not, he’s gonna think ur trashy and not gf material. Guys who REALLY like you will enjoy and take on the wait. If the guys stops talking to you because you won’t give it up, well, that’s probably all he really wanted. Don’t make us wait 2 long though lol. 

35, San Francisco: My opinion is different than most. I’m conservative and traditional. I suppose it’s all relative and situational. Depends on the individual’s intents, wants, and needs. Every situation is different and I guess timing changes with each situation and couple. To answer the question.. I would have to know the situation and people to give an accurate time frame for sexual relations to begin.

32, Los Angeles: It’s never too soon depending on what you want out of it..


…and that’s that ladies. Every situation is different.

Contributing writers: Consuelo Gomez and Maleza Huizar.