It just hit me… like a light switch going on.
That I was happy.
I was sitting in my grandmothers living room, in México. I was surrounded by beautiful people who brought ultimate joy to my life. This kind of love, is the kind of love that I needed and appreciated, and felt more than grateful to have.
I had more that I could ask for, I was blessed. I had worked hard for what I had, and although I was far from reaching my ultimate goals, I was well on my way.
I had been spending the past months of my life questioning, everything and everyone. So much energy was going into what had happened, rather than what was happening.
I had reached 26 years of age.
I had closed a big chapter in my life, I was experiencing change… So much change that I was overwhelmed and confused, and instead of dealing with the feelings that I was experiencing, I ignored them. I was wasting my energy… on other things.
I had a way of doing that… of wasting my energy.
To close off the year, 2014. I made a promise to myself. I didn’t tell anyone about the promise I had made, I just made the promise to myself, and now I am sharing that promise with those on the web. I was promising myself that from now on I would be aware of my emotions and actions, I would be so aware that I would take control. I no longer wanted to feel confused, I no longer wanted to question, nor did I want to waste any emotions or feelings on unnecessary people or events. One by one, I made a list of people or events I knew were wasting my energy. Crossed them off. I made a list of all the blessings I had, I wanted to focus on that. Family, friends, work, writing.
Him, the guy that I had held onto for so long. It wasn’t that he was to blame, but energy….a lot of energy was spent on him. After years of having… him. I let him go. I no longer wanted to put energy into things that were confusing or unhealthy.
I’ve decided to put all of my energy, all that I could… on making big things happen for myself. Anytime I would feel lost or confused or worried…I would take control and turn that energy into positive energy, into energy that would inspire and motivate me to do the things I wanted to do. I wanted and I want to do BIG THINGS.
So, for 2015… or for now at least, the word or action is ENERGY.
Energy is everything. Let’s use it wisely.